It's fake, it's fun, it's Florida

Orlando lacks absolutely any authenticity, yet wears it like a badge of honour. Its resorts and parks pedal a sanitized version of almost every conceivable environment. In a single day you can tour an artificial African savannah, Europe’s cultural icons and postcard perfect replicas of America’s most popular streetscapes.

In fact, the most authentic experience we encountered was Raglan Road, the local Irish pub at Downtown Disney. The pub's reception is situated in an original 19th Century building carefully dismantled in Irish and shipped to Florida. It’s even owned and managed by native Irishmen. Sadly, the rest of Downtown Disney lacks any defining character.


We based ourselves for fours days at the Buena Vista Palace hotel, located across the road from Disney. It had recently been renovated and was offering a cheap rate in an attempt to win back clientele. We were pleasantly surprised. Our room was well appointed and offered a stunning, uninterrupted view over the lake. You’d pay twice the rate we did for a room like this in any other city.

Aside from the usual distractions we spent several days raiding the local malls and designer outlets for bargains (of which there were plenty). Our suitcases left far heavier than they arrived. We even found time for a round of mini-golf. Here the ultimate water hazard consisted baby gators in a nearby pond.

We also caught the Circus Soreil production, La Nouba, on our second night in town. As always, the production was slick, and the acts were an amazing array of skill, balance and bravery. There’s nothing quite like watching a man stack chairs and tables into 20-metre tower, before climbing to its peak to perform an extended handstand.


We spend two delightful days at Universal Studios. I finally got to experience the Jaws adventure boat ride and fend off rampaging dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. Scooby Doo drove by and Popeye stopped to offer us a photo opportunity. In the neighbouring Adventure Park, we encountered the delightful Dr Seuss Land and risked life and limb on the Dueling Dragon roller-coaster. However, the highlight of our day out was completely unintentional.


As we strapped ourselves into the wild rapids water ride, the heavens above opened up and soaked us with a truly tropical downpour. By the time our boat entered the ride itself we were already sopping wet. My cell phone destroyed itself and my wallet began converting old receipts into wads of paper mache. It was also our last day in town. An urgent change of clothes was required in the car park before heading off to the airport.

Yes, Orlando lacks character, but boy it was fun. Best of all, Garry loved his enormous roasted Turkey Leg. You can’t find them anywhere else quite as big!