Farewell Mum

We bid farewell to my mother at a wonderful memorial service on Wednesday afternoon. Organising the event was a collaborative effort by my brothers and me, along with support and assistance from their families. We hosted approximately 60 people at the Tauranga Yacht & Power Boat Club, in a ceremony lasting an hour or so.

Mum loved living at Mount Maunganui. She always cherished the harbour and its views of majestic Mauao. As a result, my brothers and I searched long and hard for a venue with an appropriate view. We were delighted when we stumbled across the TYPC at the far end of the Sulphur Point Marina. The venue’s main function room offered an uninterrupted panoramic view of Tauranga Harbour and the Mount framed by large picture windows.

The weather also played its part. A week out from the event, the forecast had predicted dire weather. However, the actual day dawned with cloudless blue skies and sunshine. As we drove up to the venue, the entire harbour was literally shimmering in the sunlight. We couldn’t have been happier. 

We used the same celebrant, Carol Rickard, who’d officiated at Dad’s funeral a decade earlier. I delivered Mum’s eulogy, while my brothers each offered their own tributes. Auntie Pam delivered a tribute on behalf of her siblings. We then finished with tributes from three of Mum’s four grandchildren. The grandchildren’s tributes were impressive. As they shared, I learned much about what their Nana meant to each of them.

In memory of my mother, Garry and I each wore one of Mum's costume jewellery brooches. We also wore new suits we’d bought in the post-Christmas sales last December in anticipation of just this kind of event. Hamish wore one of Mum's scarves. As the service drew to a close he decided us three boys should have a final photo with our Mum. As I stepped forward to collect Mum’s ashes, we paused for a selfie, much to the surprise and amusement of guests directly behind us.

The following morning, under overcast skies, the immediate family was joined by Auntie Pam, and my cousins, Carolyn and Jenny, for the interment of my mother’s ashes. Mum was interred next to Dad in a twin plot she’d bought after he died. The sun made a welcome appearance as we finished our private ceremony. It was the perfect end to ten emotional days.

How differently things could have turned out. I flew into the Mount late afternoon on Saturday 1 June. Hamish collected me from the airport. We drove straight to Bethlehem Views to see Mum. It was immediately clear how gravely ill she was.  

I returned to see her the following morning and spent several hours at her bedside. I visited again that afternoon. The family then went to dinner for a final gathering before beginning a bedside vigil the following morning. However, Mum died unexpectedly overnight. The speed at which it happened caught us all by surprise.

It was hard to conceive that barely 36 hours after landing, my mother was gone. Since then, more than one person has suggested she was waiting for me before passing. Ironically, this final chapter reflects my mother through and through. Once her mind was made up, she'd put her shoulder to the wheel and make it happen. There was no mucking about.