Thank you for the memories

Rhonda Smith, Garry’s mother, passed away this morning. It’s been a sad time for both of us as we come to terms with losing our respective mothers a few months apart. It’s been a particularly difficult time for Garry. For the last four days, he’s sat with Rhonda through the night, keeping her company, and sharing special memories.

Rhonda celebrated her 79th birthday on Monday. Sadly, she wasn’t conscious as she lay in the hospital. However, in honour of her final milestone, Garry took a small cake into her room and enjoyed a slice in her presence before sharing the remainder with the hospital staff.

This afternoon, the family came together to support Murray and reminisce. We discovered that Rhonda has meticulously maintained annotated photo albums about every family event and milestone for decades. We all knew she’d kept these records, but failed to appreciate just how detailed they were. 

It’s been a precious time looking back over years of wonderful memories. Her first photo of me was taken at a family Christmas dinner in December 2003. At the time, Garry and I were going to New Zealand for Christmas so the Smith family organised an early celebration. 

Garry and I were trying to remember the first time I met Rhonda just a few days ago. I knew it was a family event but couldn't recall the occasion. Thank you for the memories, Rhonda. We’ll miss you dearly.

Escape from reality

Amidst the chaos currently enveloping our lives, Garry and I have found a way to bring a little joy and light relief. We’ve been planning four vacations, including two that have been in the works for some time.

First up, is our forthcoming trip to Samoa. We fly out eight days from now, returning on 1 October. Garry’s Mum is stable and looks likely to be with us for a few more weeks. As a result, Garry has decided we should proceed with this holiday. It’s also what Rhonda wants. She’s been adamant that everyone carry on living life as normal. This includes us sticking with our annual Spring break vacation.

Dealing with hotels and tourism ventures in Samoa has been an eye-opener. It's clear the locals are operating on island time. I’ve struggled to get clear and timely answers to simple questions and booking activities via email has become a handy lesson in patience.

For example, it took a string of emails over a week, to get a simple answer to questions like “What’s the dollar value of a deposit required to secure our hotel booking”, plus more emails to clarify the date the final balance was due. We never got a straight answer regarding the deposit's value (“it’s 50% of the total booking value – which is how much exactly?). I eventually gave them a credit card authorisation without a nominated total.

We’re now experiencing a similar circular email debate while trying to book a day trip to neighbouring Savaii Island (you can see its famous blowhole above). This is a treat for my birthday – if we can finalise a payment? Perhaps the easiest activity to book was a rental car for five days. However, this still involved three hours of email ping pong last Sunday before it was finalised. This exchange included two completely different booking confirmations sent within minutes of one another. I definitely need a holiday after all the stress these bookings have caused.

Following Samoa, we’ve scheduled a vacation for Christmas/New Year. We’re off to Ballina again. Given the failing health of Garry’s mother we’d deferred all plans for Summer until now. However, sadly we now know she won’t be with us for Christmas. By chance, Garry discovered that the same penthouse apartment we booked in 2021 was available in early January.

We’ve decided to spend four days making our way up the coast. We’ll stop for one night in Harrington, staying at the Harrington River Lodge (our third stay here), before basing ourselves in Yamba for three nights. We’ve booked ourselves into a studio apartment at the Moby Dick Waterfront Resort offering an uninterrupted view along the Clarence River.

Once we're done with Yamba, we'll spend four nights staying with friends on their lifestyle block outside Alstonville, before finally making our way into Ballina for seven nights. We’ll finish our vacation with an overnight stop in Port Macquarie on the way home to Sydney.

A week after returning from Ballina, we’ll be off on a five-day break in Morocco in January. Garry and I are off to Northern Africa for the weekend before kicking off our annual week of business meetings in London, at the London Toy Fair, and then on to Nuremberg for a second week. We’re basing ourselves in Marrakech. I’ve booked us into a classic riad hotel on the outskirts of the old city’s medina, plus an overnight tour through the Atlas Mountains, visiting some of Morocoo's famous Berber mountain forts. We'll stay over overnight in a palm oasis before returning to Marrakech.

This will be Garry’s first time in Morocco, and my second. Although my first visit, in 1990, only included the northern cities of Tangier, Fez and Meknes. This will be my first visit to Marrakech.

However, I won’t rest easy until we board our flight to Marrakech. We’re taking the non-stop flight from Perth to London again. The flight is scheduled to land at 5:05am. We then have 2:40 hours to clear immigration, collect our bags, transfer to Terminal 5, and drop our bags again. We’re travelling on separate tickets, so we’ll be in a world of pain if our flight from Australia runs late.

Finally, we’ve just paid a deposit on a Caribbean cruise departing January 2026. This will become part of my 60th birthday celebrations. I’ve been dreaming of a cruise through these tropical isles for decades. I stumbled upon this particular cruise earlier in the year. It visits 10 countries in 14 days, with a new port on offer daily - and no “days at sea”. 

However, it’s rather pricey, so I sensibly set it aside on the “dreamer’s shelf”. Since then, I’ve received a small cash inheritance from my mother’s estate. I decided to put it towards this cruise for Garry and me. My mother would be delighted to know we’re using it to create special memories. It’s exactly what she'd do if she were alive. We can cancel our booking without penalty until the end of August 2025 so there’s plenty of time to reconsider.

Oh yes, there is one more out-of-town excursion in my diary. I’m scheduled to fly to the Gold Coast at the end of November for an overnight retreat with my EO Forum. While the trip is business-focused, we've set aside some time for a little fun including a Koala encounter at Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary.

Grace and goodwill

We’re still enjoying unseasonably warm Spring weather. It’s been wonderful waking up to sunny blue skies. Even more so after enduring an unusually cold start to Winter. Long may it last.

We need a little sunshine in our lives right now. Sadly, barely three months after my mother’s death, Garry’s mother is now in her final weeks of life. Earlier this year Rhonda was diagnosed with terminal bile duct cancer and given months to live. Since then, her journey has been a textbook case of extraordinary grace and goodwill. 

Rhonda has used the time judiciously to organise her affairs. She’s helped Murray prepare for life without her, planned her funeral and spent quality time with family. Along the way, she’s undertaken three rounds of palliative chemotherapy to manage her symptoms, including fluid continuously building up in her abdominal cavity.

As the months pass her journey is becoming more fraught. In early August she went into hospital after an opportunistic infection took its toll. She spent 16 days on the ward before finally being discharged. Her time at home lasted eight days before a second opportunistic infection sent her back to hospital. This time to stay.

On each occasion, there were days we all thought we'd said our last goodbye. However, Rhonda has bounced back, albeit weaker and a little less mobile than before. Garry now spends several hours with her in the evening most days, while Murray visits from mid-morning to mid-afternoon.

The family is still enjoying some precious moments - like the Mother's Day celebrations we enjoyed in May - and Murray's birthday today. The photo above was taken in May.

Rhonda's been granted a rare gift. She's had time to frame her thoughts, share memories most precious to her, express regret for things left undone, or unsaid, and offer sage advice for those around her. This remarkable time of closure is proving therapeutic for everyone, myself included.  I've certainly come to appreciate the depth of her character in ways I'd failed to comprehend until now.

I envy the Smiths. My family never had this experience with either of my parents. Dad was in total denial until the bitter end. He’d never talk about how he was feeling or what mattered most to him while Mum’s advanced dementia stopped her from articulating anything meaningful beyond a fleeting, wry smile.

No doubt we have some heart-breaking days ahead. However, for now, we’re celebrating Rhonda’s kindness, generosity of spirit, and genuine warmth – with her still in the room.

UPDATE: 14 September 

Garry and I visited Rhonda in the hospital tonight. Sadly, the end is very near. We have 2-4 days left at best. It’s confronting, and a little overwhelming, going through all this again so soon after my own mother’s death.

The first day of Spring

Today is the first day of Spring. The season's off to a spectacular start. The day dawned sunny and bright with temperatures reaching a high of 28C. Garry and I decided to make the best of the unseasonably warm weather. We spent the afternoon exploring some of Sydney’s new landmarks. By the time we were done, we’d walked more than 12km.

Our circuit began with a walk to Waterloo station on the city’s new metro line. This driverless train system offers a classic London Underground experience with trains arriving every 4-5 minutes. Each of the metro’s new stations is identified by a unique artwork. In the case of Waterloo station, it’s a towering floor-to-ceiling engraved mural of an Aboriginal child.

The new metro opened two weeks ago on 18 August. Construction of the new line began in 2017. It involved drilling a new tunnel under the ocean floor beneath Sydney Harbour linking the city’s first metro line between Rouse Hill and Chatswood with the city and onwards to Bankstown.

Network tests of the driverless trains and stations began in April 2023 and have since included more than 11,000 hours of testing along the 51.5km line. Testing has paid dividends. The new line is impressive and runs like a dream. I think we’ll get.our money’s worth from its staggering $21.6 billion construction cost.

Garry and I got off at the new Barangaroo Station. From here we walked along the city’s new foreshore park, following the harbour toward Walsh Bay, under the Harbour Bridge and around Circular Quay. The new Wulugul Walk is stunning. This foreshore track is beautifully landscaped, offering uninterrupted views of Barangaroo’s new glass towers and across the water to Balmain.

The path gets its name from wulugul, the local Indigenous word for kingfish, a highly sought after catch for Aboriginal people long before Europeans arrived. It's a living masterpiece. The shoreline is skillfully framed by terraced layers of multi-coloured sandstone blocks, while the path offers gravel or paved walkways shaded by native shrubs and trees. Despite its recent opening, the park feels like it's been here for years.

On the spur of the moment, we decided to continue past the Opera House and follow the water's edge as far as Mrs Macquarie’s Chair, before following the coastal pathway into Woolloomooloo. From here it was literally a straight line back up Bourke Street to home. Although the home stretch was 3.3km, with a leg-aching uphill stride to Taylor Street.

We'll be back at the Opera House a few more times this Spring. Next Saturday we're off to see Sarah Brightman performing in Sunset Boulevard.  We'll return in November to celebrate Garry's birthday with dinner at Bennalong.  Garry revealed this afternoon that he'd never dined there so I promptly booked us a table.

All in all, our excursion involved two solid hours of walking, plus 10 minutes and four stops on the metro. The crowds were also out in force everywhere we went. I can honestly say Sydney is genuinely transforming itself into a leading world city. The city we explored today feels very different to the one I first encountered in 1998.

UPDATE: 8 September

Sunset Boulevard was a bit of a disappointment.  The staging was impressive and the Opera House proved a wonderfully intimate setting for the show.  However, the much-acclaimed Sarah Brightman was a real disappointment.  We found her dictation hard to understand whenever she sang - not a great outcome given how much of the production's dialogue is sung rather than spoken.  In fact, the supporting actor, Ashleigh Rubenach, was far more impressive. I'll pay to see her perform again any day.