Moving on

In early June my mother began a new chapter in her life. For some time, she’s been struggling to live independently at home. The unrelenting and insidious toll taken by dementia has slowly robbed Mum of many fundamental life skills. The degree to which her capabilities had diminished was a genuine shock when I visited in April. So much had changed during the COVID-restricted 11-month period since my visit in May last year.

My brother Matt, and his family, live in the house next door. As Mum’s independence diminished, they'd found themselves taking on the role of full-time carers. Perhaps the saddest aspect of all of this has been Mum’s increasing isolation as she progressively deselects herself from a growing array of social engagements.

Two months ago this challenging, and ever-evolving, situation finally came to a head. Mum had a fire in the kitchen and came perilously close to burning down her home. Sadly, we all agreed that it was time for her to move into a dedicated facility where she could be supported and cared for safely around the clock. There were plenty of tears for all.

Since May my brothers and their families have worked tirelessly to help Mum plan, prepare for, and execute this move. On 6 June she moved into full-time care at Avida Copper Crest in the Tauranga suburb of Pyes Pa. This facility opened less than a year ago so it’s still very shiny and new. Mum has a corner suite with a wrap-around balcony that looks out over internal gardens and a tree-lined access road. The room also includes a small kitchenette and there’s room for some of her more treasured possessions.

A few weeks after her move I flew across the Tasman to see her new home. COVID restrictions are still very much in force in New Zealand. I visited Mum daily for a week. Each visit involved a RAT test and face masks were mandatory within the facility. While there I took Mum on a few excursions including a drive to see Tauranga’s famous Hairy McCleary statue on the waterfront, a trip to Mitre 10 to buy pots for her new outdoor balcony, and coffee at a few cafés around the area.

 

We also went back to visit Mum’s old house. It’s now on the market to help her raise funds to cover the cost of her semi-private care. The family has worked hard to get it dressed for an open-home display. As Mum noted on her first return visit, her old home is barely recognisable.

However, her new home is equally impressive. The grounds at Copper Crest are immaculate, and the complex has plenty of sunny nooks and a cozy onsite café. It’s also bathed in plenty of natural light thanks to a façade of picture windows. The only “disappointment” for me was that some of its common areas are a little smaller and a little more “cluttered” than I’d anticipated.

While I was there, I met with the nursing team. They’re incredibly professional and are clearly committed to providing the best possible care. As a family, we’re still navigating our way through this new and sometimes bewildering change. However, it’s comforting to know that Mum is safe and well cared for in a new, sunny, and modern facility. Overall, this life-changing move appears to have gone as well as we'd have hoped for all involved.

My week in Tauranga also gave me a chance to try out Matt and Shelley's Airbnb studio. It was a comfortable place to stay. In between visits to Copper Crest, my brothers and I found time to gather as a family and let our hair down after an incredibly traumatic few months.